‘Sweetmates’- love, marriage, and classes on top?
By Katie Harmon
Mary Beth Jones is a junior at High Point University. She is majoring in graphic design, and works part time at a local embroidery shop. Like any other 21- year-old college student, she goes to class, does homework, has lunch with friends, and watches reality TV.
But Mary Beth is no ordinary college student. At the end of the day, most college students go back to their dorms and roommates. Mary Beth goes home to her husband.
There was once a time when an unmarried woman of Mary Beth’s age would have been considered an old maid. That time has long past.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age for women at their first marriage in 2003 was 25. Since then, the estimated average has reached the age of 30. Women are waiting longer and longer to marry and start a family, choosing instead to focus on their education and careers.
So what’s up with the Jones’s? Why get married now?
Mary Beth first met her husband, Daniel, at their church in Thomasville, N.C. when she was a junior in high school. They dated for three years before he popped the question.
“We really just didn’t want to wait,” Mary Beth explains, “We were ready to start our lives together.”
“I knew that Mary Beth was the one for me,” her husband, Daniel, adds, “We knew we were going to get married.”
The Jones’ are not alone. Chris and Jessie Meriwether, from Asheville, N.C., were married two years ago, when Jessie was only a sophomore, and Chris a junior, at High Point University. They too, met in high school when Jessie was sixteen and Chris was seventeen, and dated for three years before he popped the question and they became engaged.
“We’ve only been married for 2 years,” says Jessie, “and already I can’t imagine what it would be like to not be married to Chris.”
Both couples agree that marriage was the best choice for them. “I get to go through the rest of my life with the person I love and care for most in the world,” Chris says of his wife, “I have a companion who I share my entire life with. Life is unimaginably sweeter with her.”
But marrying young is, by no means, a walk in the park.
On her blog, The Young and the Married, Jessie chronicles the ups and downs of being married young.
Her memoirs range from impromptu trips and birthday celebrations to the struggles of bargain hunting and crafting.
“The worst part [about being married in college] is probably being poor,” Jessie states, “Not that I would have been much richer without getting married, but there are times when I wish we had a nicer apartment, or could go out to eat more often, but I know that I would much rather have Chris than the money.”
Because HPU doesn’t offer housing for married couples, they live off campus. Currently, the Jones’ live in an apartment built over an office building.
“At first, we thought it was unfair to not offer married housing,” Mary Beth explains, “But after looking into it and finding an apartment at a great deal, we came to terms with it pretty fast. We enjoy having our personal lives separate from school.”
The Meriwethers and the Jones know that money is tight for most newlyweds, and that is not a modern problem. However, these two couples face a problem that did not exist a few decades ago. In the 1970’s the average age for marriage was 21. Everyone was getting married young.
Though the couples’ friends and families were mostly supportive, there were also those who did not understand. “You can hear the doubts in the raised eyebrows and questioning looks,” Jessie explains a little sadly, “It’s definitely not the first thing I tell people about myself – they always freak out a little when they find out.”
Chris agrees, “The worst part about being married in college was that my peers could no longer relate to me as well.” This is understandable. The marrying age for men has always been higher than that of women.
Daniel and Chris both admit that they got a little nervous before the wedding. Chris recalls the rare moments when he wondered if he and Jessie were just “stupid kids” rushing into marriage.
“I married when I did because I knew that Jessie was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,” Chris explains, “I knew that I could never find a woman better than her and I also realized that she helped bring the best out in me. I would have been so stupid not to marry her. Why ‘waste’ time dating the woman I know I am going to end up marrying?”
As Jessie points out, getting married in college is not for everyone, and what works for one couple may not work for another, but both couples agree that marrying in college was right for them.
As Mary Beth reflects on her wedding day and her decision to marry Daniel, she says with a smile, “my feet weren’t even chilly.”
Though marriage in college is unconventional, there are those couples that seem to make it work. The Jones’s and the Meriwethers are a shining example that sometimes following your heart is the right move to make.