12 years later, ‘XXX’ reemerges with ‘Return of Xander Cage’

By Arbogast, Brandon, February 8, 2017

 By Drew Henderson// Staff Writer

Twelve years after the last “XXX” film, “The Return of Xander Cage” marks a return for the blockbuster franchise staring Vin Diesel. However, that is all this movie is: just a return, with a thin narrative and some of the most cringe-worthy dialogue I have heard from a movie in a while. The only saving graces in “The Return of Xander Cage” are its action sequences and main characters.

Ignoring the events of the 2005 sequel “State of the Union,” apart from a small cameo at the end, “XXX: The Return of Xander Cage” picks up after an attack in Brazil is achieved with the power of Pandora’s box, a weapon capable of turning any satellite into a homing missile. This causes the government to turn to the once-thought-dead Xander Cage to save the world from this terrible weapon. That’s all you really have to know about the story, as the rest plays out like every other cliché action movie that has come before it, with Xander having to assemble the best team out there to eliminate the bad guys and destroy the weapon. Yep, haven’t seen that one before.

The dialogue and characters in the film, besides Vin Diesel’s Xander, Ruby and Donnie, is some of the most boring I have seen in years, too. Out of the supporting cast, only two people make a big impression- Donnie Yen and Ruby Rose. Donnie Yen, recently seen in “Star Wars: Rouge One,” plays a complicated role this time around as Xander’s rival/ally in the movie. He brings charisma to his character and some of the best action scenes in the film, thanks to his deep martial arts background. Ruby Rose, of the hit Netflix Show “Orange is the New Black,” plays a smaller role in the film as Xander’s Recon/Sniper specialist. Rose’s character is cliché at first, being a no-nonsense woman who’s a crack shot with a sniper, but as the movie goes on, she is one of the stronger characters in the film. However, beyond these three, there is not a single interesting character in the film, with the rest of the team being made up of a DJ and a human crash dummy. Also, Xander’s boss is by far the worst character I have ever seen in an action film, as she says her lines with the emotions and urgency of a piece of 2×4 wood.

Besides all of the negatives in the film, the action is really the only thing that was constantly great, with some scenes being perfectly overboard enough to enjoy. Some of the action sequences that stood out were Xander’s reintroduction, a crazy water chase on motorbikes and a brawl on a giant plane heading for a crashing satellite. Like I said, crazy enough and overboard enough to be fully amazed and enjoyed.

“XXX: The Return of Xander Cage,” seems like a movie that was released too late into theaters. The whole time while I was watching it, everything from the dialogue to the camera work made me think I was watching a forgettable 2000’s action movie. Besides one or two action sequences, that is all I will remember about this movie.  When it comes to action, “XXX” has always been the least memorable of Vin Diesel’s franchise deck. It is probably best that Vin Diesel just stick to the fast cars.