High Point University

Social media, chivalry and the new Millennial era of dating

By Ann Shelley // Staff Writer

Over the past century, our generation has slowly transformed society’s idea of what dating is. In high school, it’s common for people to get to know one another within the first few months of dating; whereas in college, people get to know each other prior to committing to a relationship.
Now, our society seems to be consumed by social media, almost ensuring people know, or have heard of, one another prior to dating. If you are currently dating someone, you’ve already beaten the stereotype.
The term “dating” used to mean a girl and boy meet; if they like each other, they go on a date; and they may continue on more dates that ultimately become a relationship. The guy would show up at your doorstep with a huge bouquet of flowers, meet your parents, hold open doors and treat you to dinner; all parts of a huge romantic gesture. This grand gesture has turned into Instagram likes and Twitter direct messages.
People don’t even flinch anymore after hearing “you got a kik?” When did this idea of dating transform into a social media takeover? What ever happened to a guy walking up to you at a bar and dropping you a cheesy pick-up line to get your number? What ever happened to going steady in high school?
It seems like our generation was too quick to grow up and create a whole new idea of dating. Tinder and other dating apps and websites aren’t saving the old idea of what dating used to be. Instead, they make it easier for us to hide behind our glowing screens; talking behind your phone or computer isn’t really getting to know a person.
In college, most people don’t want to commit themselves to a relationship. Instead they spend their time and energy meeting new people and “talking.” The term “talking” has transformed too. It used to mean that you are generally just having a conversation with someone. Now it means you are hanging out with the other person for a couple weeks or months, but you aren’t exclusive.
It seems that more and more individuals don’t want to commit because of the fear of “labels;” labels meaning “dating” or “boyfriend and girlfriend” and generally any phrase that would indicate that they are in a monogamous relationship with another individual. You are stuck in between just getting to know each other and actually dating.
So when someone asks you, “How are you and what’s his face doing? Aw, are you guys dating?” You don’t know how to reply because you fear telling them you are in a relationship because maybe he doesn’t feel the same way.
Dates are also becoming part of the past. Whatever happened to cute picnic dates? Or a five-star dinner and a movie? Our society seems to be consumed by the idea of “Netflix and chill.” Let’s bring the old idea of dating and relationships back.
Valentine’s Day is coming up, so why don’t you surprise your boy or girl with some chocolates, flowers or a nice dinner out? This is only just a start to bringing the idea back into our society where dating isn’t consumed by social media and other’s perceptions. You shouldn’t depend your whole relationship with an individual on whether they like your Instagram, Tweet or text you back instantly. It is all about what the relationship is in person, because it’s always easier to hide behind a screen.