‘Modern Romance’ exposes Millennial relationships

By Ryan, October 1, 2015

By Liz Reichart, A&E Editor//

In a world of smartphones and seemingly endless technology, finding someone you are romantically interested in, dating, and getting matched up are not the same as they once were in the sixties. Whereas most of our parents had a limited number of choices in their neighborhood and schools, young adults today are two clicks away from not only an almost unlimited amount of people looking for a connection, but you can search by profession, age, zip code, and whether or not they like to hike with dogs. This is what comedian Aziz Ansari so cunningly researched and synthesized into hilarious material for his first book. “Modern Romance” is an exploration of the pitfalls and triumphs of relationships in the current era, but based so soundly in research that you’ll accidentally learn something about yourself while reading through your tears of laughter.

After conductions thousands of interviews with psychologists, scientists and focus groups, Aziz combines these facts with his own compelling narrative of ridiculousness and being a young stand-up comedian. He tells the story of how his father’s marriage was arranged in India: his father was presented with three women he had never met. The first was too tall, the second was too short, and he quickly decided that the third one, much like Goldilocks, was the perfect height. After about 30 minutes of talking, they decided that the marriage would be fine, and they have been together, happily married, Ansari says, for 35 years. Ansari compares this to the time he had a show in Seattle and wanted to find the absolute best bite to eat in the city. After researching on several restaurant ranking websites and texting his friends who lived in the area for suggestions, he narrowed his choices down by distance and type of cuisine. In the end, he finally decided on an Italian place that ended up being closed, so he stuffed down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before his set. And that was just for dinner one night! Ansari makes this comparison to great comedic effect: He spent 10 times the effort his father did, and it still did not guarantee his success. Because young adults today are simply inundated with options, often times it is difficult to make a choice because we want the very best. Millennials were raised in an age of more information out there, and we don’t have to settle for whoever lives on our street. Whereas in 1985, the number one way in which same sex couples met their romantic partners was through a friend, followed by number two of in a bar or restaurant. Today, the number one way couples meet is online.

Every girl I know carefully examines not the punctuation of a text when sending it to a male they might have an interest in, but so that the timestamp on the text doesn’t appear too eager. Why is that? Ansari finds it’s because they never want to seem too available. It’s an inability with this generation of young adults to ever be straightforward. He finds that while, in theory, everyone claims they want their romantic interests to be straightforward with them; almost no one ever takes that approach. This is only a taste of the research synthesized and broken down by both Ansari and Eric Klinenberg, professor of sociology at New York University. Whereas most comedians pen their first book on the crazy hijinks of showbiz, Ansari demonstrates he’s not merely another stand up artist, but rather a frighteningly effective combination of humor and brilliance.

Ever wondered what Tinder pictures facilitate more right swipes? Why when the opportunity to settle down presents itself, the appeal of single life and all hypothetical alternatives loom over our heads? Ansari has the answers, and it’s not always him doing the talking. Readers of all ages can relate to the interviews conducted throughout the course of the book, from nursing home residents to college students. It’s the voices of two generations that move the narrative forward, and Ansari bridges this gap articulately with shrewd humor and astute observation.

“Always hilarious, Aziz Ansari proves you can be smart and funny at the same time. Not only did I laugh, I really learned stuff. Where was this book when I was twenty-two years old?” said Steven Levitt, coauthor of the No. 1 New York Times best-selling “Freakonomics”. This book breathes life into so many issues that every age, gender, orientation, and geographic location face, yet have seldom been discussed. Swipe right on “Modern Romance”- yeah, there are a lot of book choices out there, but unlike your next Tinder date, you won’t regret this read.